


Back In Black

by httpstiles



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Black Paladin Lance (Voltron), Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Head Injury, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Kuron is Shiro (Voltron)'s Clone, Langst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mind Control, Post-Season/Series 04, Rehabilitation, Serious Injuries, Sexual Assault, shirt isn't shiro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-03-25 01:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13824012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpstiles/pseuds/httpstiles
Summary: Keith returns to Team Voltron after Allura delivers news that he just can’t believe.Shiro wasn’t Shiro, and the end result of that left Lance and Pidge injured, and the team falling apart. To top it all off, Red isn’t responding to Lance and he begins doubting his position on the team. Black isn’t responding to Keith and he starts to wonder why Allura thought he could possibly help.Before they can save the universe, they’ll have to save themselves, especially if they want to find the real Shiro.— DISCONTINUED —Please read Chapter 4 for more details.





	1. The Spell Is Broken

**Author's Note:**

> TAGS NOTE: Please note that Lance/Kuro is tagged as a pairing, but not for romantic purposes. The first chapter will explain why I have it tagged as such. Also, please heed the warnings. This does involve Rape/Non-Con, and while it isn't graphic at the beginning, there will eventually be more detailed scenes. That/those chapter(s) will have a warning.

Keith doesn’t know what he’s doing here. 

He’d figured that when the Black Lion accepted Shiro, his fate was sealed. Joining the Blade wasn’t an easy decision. There were doubts. With Voltron he had a family, not one that he was born into, but one that he was accepted into. Things changed when his family turned on him, though. While he struggled with trying to find his place and himself, Shiro had been pushing where he used to support. Shiro was the reason he was in Voltron, the reason he had been a pilot to begin with, his mentor and light through Galaxy Garrison.

Shiro was who pushed him into his final decision. There was no spot for him on Team Voltron.

 

And yet, here he was. Allura kept it short when she contacted him, but her brief explanation was enough to rattle him and he had to see this for himself.

Shiro wasn’t actually Shiro, Lance and Pidge were hurt, and the team needed him now more than ever.

 _“Lance needs you,” Allura had ended her plea._  

 He left only minutes later.

 

It’s been a few months since he’s seen the team, despite the Blade’s partnership with Voltron. He’d made it a point to take missions when he knew that Kolivan would be meeting with the paladins. Somehow, too much time had passed, and there was no going back for Keith. He’d avoided them for too long. There was no way they would ever take him back, he was sure of it. 

Then this happened.

The steps from his ship hiss and he follows them as they descend to the ground. Allura has a small smile on her face, but he can’t help but notice how sad she looks underneath it. Keith had seen this look before. He saw it when she remembered anything about her father or Altea. She’d worn the same look on her face when she first brought up needing to find a new pilot to fly the black lion. She still looks beautiful as ever.

“Keith,” her voice breaks the silence. “It’s been too long.”

He isn’t sure what he should do, but Allura doesn’t seem to notice his hesitation and steps forward into his space, opening her arms. He hugs her when she leans in and says nothing despite the questions he has rattling around in his head.

He’s mostly wondering why she isn’t angry about how long it’s been. She’d greeted him with a voice of regret, but he can’t help but feel as though it may be a show. It doesn’t matter in the long run, though. He’s here for Voltron, for saving the universe, personal qualms about the team aside.

 Over her shoulder he sees the lions, but instead of their usual idle positions, Black is lying across the floor in front of Red. It looks too much like before.

 The two pull away from each other, but Keith’s eyes don’t move from the sight. Allura frowns as she follows his gaze.

 “Let’s take you to the others, shall we? We have to get you caught up.”

  
Keith notices immediately that many of the lights are low and that they’re not going to the lounge. They’re headed to the medical bay.

Allura stops abruptly in the hall outside the door.

“I ask now that you do not stare at his wounds too much,” she says without looking at him. “It makes him uncomfortable. Be patient with his explanation seeing as what he went through was…” She pauses looking for the right word. She doesn’t seem to find it. “We are still trying to process what happened.” She reaches for the security pad beside the door, her hand halting in its movement. 

“It’s _hard_ to process,” she emphasizes. “For multiple reasons.”

 

The atmosphere of the room is tense. Everyone surrounds Lance’s bed; everyone but Matt. The lights are dim, but at the corner of the room, one healing pod is lit up with power, all sources of energy being centered around there. Pidge looks so small in the pod, and Matt looks even smaller sitting beside it. There aren’t any chairs, but he’s made himself comfortable on the floor with a couple of blankets. 

Lance fumbles with some sort of pouch, but he turns his head when he hears the bay doors open. Keith sucks in a harsh breath as he takes in the room as a whole, and Allura nudges him. 

“Hey, mullet.” With the bruising on his neck, Keith had expected to be hearing a rasp, but Lance’s voice is still clear as day and lacks the heat it once did when calling out to him.

Keith approaches the team and they take turns exchanging small hugs. He only nods at Matt before giving his full attention to Lance. Keith eyes the brace around his right wrist and makes no move to greet him as he did the others.

“What happened?” He asks, cutting right to the chase. 

He sees Hunk frown in his peripheral. Matt watches them from across the room. His worry is evident, but it’s anger that masks his face. Lance sighs, obviously still shaken about whatever went down, but opens his mouth, ready to speak anyway.

“I think I could always tell that there was something wrong with Shiro,” Lance starts. “When we first got him–” Lance closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “When we first got _it_ back, what we thought was Shiro, he acted off. The way he just bounced back from captivity, it seemed weird. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to insult his ability to cope or lead.

“But that was another thing. It was like he’d _forgotten_ how to lead. Not only could he not let you be in charge, but the decisions he made weren’t as thought out like they used to be. He’d wanted you to lead Voltron so badly, but he kept tearing you down and telling you that you were wrong instead of trying to tell you what it was you did wrong and how to fix it. 

Keith looks away from Lance. He hadn’t even realized that anyone else had noticed how wrong that was. He’d constantly felt like he was being scolded. It’s part of what made him want to leave in the first place.

“I’m sorry I never said anything,” Lance adds. Keith looks back to him and shakes him head.

 “It’s in the past. What led to where we are now?”

 Allura scowls and Keith knows it’s because he’s being tactless. But he’s having a hard time believing that Shiro hurt Lance, and an even harder time believing that he hurt Pidge. Maybe it's because he still can’t process that Shiro is _not_ Shiro, and that he never was.

He suddenly understands Allura’s comment from before.

 “Things got weird these past few weeks. There were more diplomatic meetings and Shiro and I went with Allura on all of them.” Lance tongues at his bottom lip where it’s crusted over with blood. “We made a surprisingly _great_ duo,” he bites out sarcastically.

 Allura doesn’t react beyond tightening her hand into a fist. She clearly feels as though she’s partly to blame for Lance being in the position he was in. Lance doesn’t seem mad at Allura, though, just mad at himself.

 “After a few meetings, he started acting differently toward me. He talked to me more, came to me more often during our free time, and he started…” Keith glances at his friends. Obviously they knew what happened, but from the looks of their faces they didn’t know the story leading up to it either. 

“He started touching me differently,” Lance rushes out. “It wasn’t some kind of bad touch, but it was more… intimate. It didn’t seem sexual at all, but it felt like something that only friends did.” He lets the sentence hang there for a moment, and continues when Hunk places his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “We were never friends,” he admits with a tone of defeat, “not like that.”

 “Touches lingered, they came more often, and he started to confide in me. He told me about nightmares, but it was all just wrong. The nightmares sounded so superficial and he never really showed that they affected him at all. Oddest of all, I felt like I could never remember what they were even about when we’d finished talking.

“What happened today, though… I’m not even sure how it went from zero to one hundred so fast. I could tell that something was off, but I hadn’t expected this.

“We were in the hangars. He’d asked me to go there so we could talk privately. It was pretty busy earlier, we had guests, and the rooms weren’t as close, I guess. I barely remember how the conversation started, but the rest is pretty clear.”

 

_Lance broke through a haze that’d been clouding his mind. It was too familiar, but he couldn’t place it at the moment. He felt a tap on his cheek and when he looked up, he saw Shiro above him. He wanted to say something, but his mouth felt numb and heavy._

_“Oh,” Shiro, had said. “You’re usually asleep right now. This is no good.” Shiro’s voice sounded abnormal, detached._

_Lance’s eyed him in confusion and tried to move. He looked around, trying to see what made him wake up, but Shiro pressed him lightly on his shoulders._

  _“I’m starving, Lance. I just need a refill.” The words struck him as odd and something was screaming in the back of his head, ‘Danger! Danger! Danger!’_

_Suddenly, Shiro had leaned forward into his space. Startled, Lance managed to put his hand between them and push Shiro away. A bored sort of curiosity filled Shiro’s face._

_“Why do you resist now, human?”_

_And suddenly, Lance was fully lucid. His heart raced as he realized that Shiro’s body was straddling his own, and he had him pressed on the floor. The voice in the back of his head was Red, and she was telling him to fight._

_Before he could think of any reason not to, Lance brought his leg up, kneeing Shiro wherever he could get, and then pushing him with both of his hands. Shiro fell back out of shock, then glared and Lance and the boy struggled to stand. Shiro’s face quickly changed to that of rage._

_“What woke you?” Shiro yelled._

_Lance didn’t have an answer. He didn’t even understand what was going on._

_“Shiro, what are you doing?” Lance raised his hands between them, trying to keep Shiro at bay. “What’s going on?”_

_Shiro didn’t say anything, and Lance took a moment to gather himself. He felt a twinge on his lip when he spoke, and when he pressed his finger to it, it stung. Upon pulling his finger away, he could see red, and he could taste blood at the tip of his tongue._

_He wasn’t expecting Shiro to press forward again. Lance immediately tried to move away, but felt his back hit the metal of one of the work tables. Shiro’s hands were suddenly on both sides of his face and a wave of dizziness overtook him again._

_Lance yelled in fear and pressed on Shiro. The man unwillingly let go._

_Lance’s heart was beating out of his chest trying to process everything._

_“You’re not Shiro,” he finally announced. Somehow it was no surprise._

_“You were supposed to be easy. I knew the other would have been easier,” Shrio sneered._

_Shiro surged forward and Lance ducked under the table and crawled out from the other side, but the older man was faster and pounced on top of Lance. He flipped him over with ease and suddenly Lance couldn’t breathe. Shiro’s hand engulfed his thin neck and squeezed, and when Lance tried to push at his face, he grabbed his wrist and squeezed that too._

_Lance couldn’t even scream when the bone snapped underneath the death grip. He just knew that one second, black had been clouding his vision, and then the next moment,_ Black _was roaring. The mere force of it knocked the imposter over, and in the corner of Lance’s eye there was a streak of green._

_Pidge came barrelling in, ready to protect Lance, and more importantly, ready to attack Shiro on his behalf._

_“Shiro!” she yelled as the thing brought his arm up to protect himself from her bayard. “What are you doing?” Not-Shiro’s eyes turned purple and he smiled._

_“I am not your Shiro.” With a sharp kick, he sent her flying backward, and she shouted in pain as she collided with the floor. Lance watched the skin on her arms redden where the floor had scraped across her skin. None of them were in their armor._

  _On the floor, Pidge didn’t move, but the Black Lion roared again, pulling up to full height. Shiro ignored its vicious stomp and made way for Lance again. His metal arm grew bright with color as he stalked over. Still nearly out of breath and cradling his injured wrist, Lance struggled to get himself to move._

 _When the next strike from Shiro came at him, he thought that was it and closed his eyes, bracing himself for the pain. Instead, he heard a sharp cry. Pidge had taken the blow to her back, and she collapsed forward into Lance’s arms._  

_“Pidge!” Lance turned and saw Matt running toward them with Allura and Hunk on his heels._

_Another roar came from the Black Lion, but this time its mouth opened and a bright light shot out at Not-Shiro. He wasn’t able to avoid the Lion this time._

 

Keith doesn’t know what to say. The entire room is quiet and Lance picks at the edge of his shirt.

When Coran steps away to grab something, Lance speaks up.

“You don’t believe me.” It’s not accusatory, it’s the sound of resignation, and Keith wants to grab that fear inside Lance and rip it out. “I _know_ it isn’t Shiro. Everything it said was on video. Do you need to see the vid–”

“ _No,_ ” Keith replies angrily. “No, Lance.”

Tears well in Lance’s eyes and he shakes his head. “I get it can be hard to believe, but trust me–”

“I do,” Keith says. Believing Lance had always been easier than breathing. “I believe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know ahead of time, this story does not have a set posting schedule. I am very busy with college and sports, so posting will be uneven. I do have a planned ending for this story, though, so please give me a chance :)


	2. What Has Happened and What Will Change

“What is it?” Keith asks Coran.

The two of them are staring at the creature as it lies sleeping on the other side of the particle barrier. The thing that _looks like Shiro_.

It’s in an induced sort of coma, but no one is sure that the medication they’ve sedated it will last long.

“We never had a name for it. There were only stories.” Coran shifts his feet and it tells Keith that something is bugging him. The man only ever stands up straight, both feet planted shoulder-width apart.

“What _is_ it?” Keith presses.

“There is a story of a creature. It was a common story that Alteans shared to scare each other, but Allura’s father always said there’s a little truth to every story.

“It was created, not born,” Coran continues on. “No one knows what its original purpose was, but what became of it is something far different. Alteans suspected that alchemists, ones very unlike Allura’s father– dark energy manipulators, had gone wrong with an experiment, and magic had manipulated itself, becoming something not light, but not dark. It became an entity that someone of light or dark could manipulate.

“The beings are known to be able to bend and alter matter; shape shift, as Hunk provided earlier.”

“What else can it do?” Keith questions, turning to face the older man. “Why did it make Lance hazy? Why did it do _that_ to him? And why can’t he remember?”

Coran looks to him and wraps his arm around Keith’s shoulders, giving him a small tug in the opposite direction of the _thing_.

“That’s a lot of questions, my boy. Let’s leave this room, for now.”

Keith gives one glance back at it as they leave. It looks so much like Shiro that it’s still hard for him to process that it’s not. However, there’s no need to process the fact that Lance and Pidge were hurt. That’s very real and very unquestionable.

 Coran guides him from the room and they make their way around the longer, more elegant looking halls of the castle. Keith hadn’t done much exploring before he left, so he’s never actually seen this area before.

“For starters, this creature isn’t of natural existence, and for that reason it can’t energize naturally like we do. It can eat, it can sleep, but it can’t replenish that way. It takes energy only in a raw form. While supplement is essentially converted to energy in our bodies, the creature can’t do that, so it takes it from others,” the man explains. “I suspect that when we were in battle, this was no problem, and worked in favor for it, but as we’ve come to this point where we’ve not been in battle, it had to find alternative means.”

“I don’t understand,” Keith concedes.

“Every time we do something, we use energy. Energy, however, doesn’t disappear. Energy is constantly transferring.” Keith still looks somewhat confused, so Coran tries to think of a new way to explain.

“Okay, think of it like this. Imagine yourself fighting. It takes energy to fight, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Now imagine that this energy has a physical form, such as mist. When you fight, and as the fight goes on, you use energy, essentially losing it. _Now_ the energy, the mist, is outside of your body. The creature is able to harness that and take it in as its own.”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “Okay, that makes sense. How does this tie back to Lance, though?”

“This being is rather equipped with ability. I believe that what happened with Lance was that the creature has been feeding off of his energy.” Keith’s eyes widen and Coran shakes his head, rushing to explain. “This actual taking of energy didn’t hurt him, but what has affected him negatively was how the thing got Lance to exert the energy, and how it made him forget.”

Keith’s breath hitches and he starts piecing it together.

“That’s why Lance couldn’t remember Shiro’s nightmares,” Keith realizes. “That thing would… it would brainwash him and make him compliant? Then it would make him forget?”

“Yes, my boy.”

Keith stops walking and feels an ache in his chest. He feels like _he’s_ violating Lance just hearing about this. “Does Lance remember now?”

“I suspect that because Lance was able to break the trance, something that has had a hold on him for awhile now, he will begin to remember.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Keith seethes. “Coran, do you–?” His hands curl into fists. “Do you understand what Lance went through? I don’t know how Altea worked, but on Earth, this was– this was _bad_.”

Coran pulls at one of the hairs of his mustache. “I do understand how severe this is, and how much it will hurt our poor boy when he begins to remember, but we can’t change what’s happened. We can only try to prepare for what _will_ change.”

  
“Okay,” Keith acknowledges the room. “So everyone has a good understanding of everything that’s happened, correct?”

Everyone nods– everyone except Lance and Pidge. They’re gathered in the kitchen to talk about where they need to go from here. Hunk and Coran are preparing food at a slow pace to keep track of the conversation, but Allura stands to the side of a pacing Keith, and Matt is sat in a chair beside the bar.

“Is it safe to assume that Haggar is behind this?”

“Most likely,” Allura sighs. “There’s no telling what she had planned, especially considering that things have only just reached a climax. However, from what Lance has said, I fear it’s going to have too much of a lasting impact.”

“What do you mean?” Matt questions.

“Well he didn’t say as much,” Hunk jumps in, “but it’s pretty obvious we’re all going to have to regain a different level of trust with him.” Allura nods solemnly.

It grows quiet, just the small scuffs of Keith’s feet moving across the floor and some food being chopped can be heard.

“What do you think Haggar’s ultimate goal was?” Matt speaks up again.

“To break us apart,” Hunk says.

“She didn’t manage to,” Allura quips back defiantly.

“But _didn’t_ she?” Keith challenges. Everyone looks at him, eyes wide. Even Hunk looks startled and Coran’s chopping slows. “Guys, we have to think about this. This doesn’t just affect Lance. This affects everyone here.”

“Explain,” Allura commands with narrowing eyes.

“Shiro was the only person that never let me down before I came here, and that _thing_ ruined all the trust I had for anyone before I left,” he seethes. Allura raises her eyebrows, but doesn’t say anything. “Shiro was Pidge’s rock the whole time she was looking for Matt. He was just like an older brother to her. And if we know anything about Pidge, it’s that she trusts her understanding and knowledge of things to guide her.”

“He’s right,” Matt adds in. “She’s never going to trust herself now. She didn’t figure out that the thing wasn’t Shiro. She won’t be able to stop doubting herself. Something like this happened when we were younger. She was too hard on herself. I can’t imagine it with something of this magnitude.”

“And you?” Allura asks Keith.

“What do you mean?”

“You said that ‘that thing’ ruined the trust you had for everyone here. We never lied to or deceived you.”

“But we never really gave him a reason to trust us,” Hunk answers before Keith can. Keith shoots a glance at him and the other boy’s eyes glimmer. “We let him down by blindly following not-Shiro’s words. We never gave Keith the opportunity to figure himself out. He didn’t stay because _we_ didn’t trust _him_ to stay.”

“You sound like you’ve thought about it,” Allura points out.

“Not really. Well, I mean of course, but Lance brought it to my attention,” Hunk explains.

Allura nods, her eyebrows drawing together as she thinks. Keith stores that tidbit of information for later. He can chew on it when the team isn’t in the middle of a crisis.

“Well,” Coran says as he pulls dishware from a shelf. “It appears we have some work to do.”

Matt whistles. “That’s an understatement. Assuming that they really do have Shiro, Haggar could’ve just stopped there and left you guys without a leader. Instead she sent something in to replace him. That thing gained everyone’s trust, even mine, and I’ve known Shiro since we were in training.”

“It somehow tricked even the black lion, and now we’re back to where we were half a year ago but even worse,” Hunk adds.

“We don’t have Shiro,” Keith whispers, the daunting realization finally hitting him. “And we haven’t been _looking_.” Allura pales, something Keith sees out of the corner of his eye “That thing was a distraction. We’re a paladin down, maybe even two or three. Shiro is still gone, and now we have to pick up all these pieces.”

“We’re the universe’s last hope, yet it’s looking pretty hopeless for us right now,” Hunk admits dejectedly.

“We can’t lose hope, Hunk. We have to believe we can find Shiro, and we have to believe we can mend our wounds.” Allura declares.

“Where do we start?”

 

After the conversation in the kitchen, there isn’t too much to say. Everyone’s thoughts are crowded and a million places at once. As Hunk and Coran finished the food, Keith retreated to the holodeck for some peace and quiet, but now it’s time to face the team again. An anxiety that Keith hasn’t felt in a long time wells up in his chest.

His time with the Blade was quiet. For the most part, everyone kept to themselves unless plans were being discussed or members were being debriefed after battle. Even most of the missions were quiet, seeing as most relied on their ability to be stealthy. The sudden transition is a bit overwhelming.

At the table, Allura and Hunk are already sitting, Allura at the head of the table and Hunk to her left. Coran is walking into the room from the opposite side that Keith entered. The room’s lights are lower than he remembers them being, the blue accent lights most prominent in the room.

“Oh!” Hunk exclaims. “I wasn’t sure if you were joining us, Keith! I’ll go get your food.” Hunk jumps up from his seat, a huge smile on his face. Keith can’t help but smile in return. Hunk has always had such a calming and reassuring aura about him. The boy rushes toward the kitchen as Coran takes a seat to the right of Allura.

Keith sits too, next to where Hunk had been seated, and realizes that Matt isn’t in the room.

“Where’s Matt?” he asks before he can stop himself.

“He took his food to the sleep pods,” Coran replies. “I told him that there was no telling how long Pidge might be in there, but that won’t stop him,” he says fondly.

“Wait,” Keith says, trying to grasp what Coran just said. “How bad were her injuries? How come you don’t know how long she’ll be?” Allura freezes in her movements, her food halfway to her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, Keith. We should have properly informed you of the situation,” she starts. “Pidge suffered from near fatal head trauma and spinal injury. The pod will be most efficient in healing that, but it can not fix any damage done on the molecular level. She may have to go through a training course to get back to normal.”

Keith let’s the news sink in for a moment. It explains Matt’s behavior earlier and now his need to be with her. “Like rehab?”

“Yes,” Coran says, “I believe that was the word that Matt used.” Keith doesn’t respond.

Hunk enters then, the plate of food in his hand.

“Here you go,” he says. Keith thanks him, but it feels like his body is moving on auto pilot.

Hunk picks up on this and ask if he’s okay.

“Yeah, they just told me about the extent of Pidge’s injuries. Did you know?” Hunk’s face softens and he nods.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you myself. They don’t really understand the magnitude of it.”

“Sure we do!” Allura defends quickly. “I admit I don’t really understand your worry. She will heal and then get better,” she says easily. “But we understand how severe her injuries were.”

“But you really don’t,” Hunk insists. “Allura, we don’t have the healing technology and medicinal advances that Altea did.”

“What do you mean? Do you not have healing pods? Or trained beings in every familial unit?” She’s speaking as if the idea is outlandish to her, and Keith tries not to let it get to him.

“No, we don’t,” Hunk answers. “There are places that have a bunch of trained people in one spot. If this had happened on Earth, we would have had to drive her to this place ourselves, or wait for someone to come get her, then they could assist her. And we don’t have healing pods that find injuries with one scan and start healing them. We have machines that take pictures that the people have to interpret then go in and fix themselves.” Coran looks baffled as if Hunk is making stuff up.

“That can’t be true,” Coran says. “It’s absurd.”

“Coran, on Earth, Pidge most likely would have died.” Allura gasps at Hunk’s words, and Keith wants to smack his head into the table. He opts to pressing his fingers to his temples instead.

“I… I apologize for reacting so casually to the circumstances. I didn’t understand this before,” the princess says.

Keith nods and Hunk shrugs, as if to say it’s okay, but right now nothing going on is okay. There aren’t words for a response that feels right, so no one says anything else on the matter. Instead, Keith eyes the empty seat in front of him.

“Lance was sleeping last I saw,” Hunk answers Keith’s unasked question. The guy seems to be able to read him fairly well recently. “I’m not sure if he’ll be joining us. It was a pretty taxing day, even before the fake Shiro business.”

Keith recalls Lance mentioning that there had been guests in the Castle earlier in the day. 

“Why _were_ people here earlier? Was it another diplomatic meeting?” 

“Actually, no,” Hunk answers. “It was really early morning, or at least the Castle-time equivalent of that, when we received a distress signal from the Olkari. The Castle took some damage in battle, so they were here assisting with that when things went down. The lights are all dimmed because we have most of the power rerouted to Pidge’s pod right now.”

Keith nods and is about to ask another question when Lance walks in. He looks tired and much more unsettled than he’d been when he last saw him.

Coran gets up with a comment about getting him soup before disappearing out into the hallway.

Hunk greets him, surprised to see him up. Allura greets him as well, but Keith can’t get himself to do more than offer a nod. Lance doesn’t respond to anyone, but he does offer a small smile with a glance in each of their directions.

It feels odd without Lance talking, even weirder that Lance isn’t trying to make jabs at Keith about something. Keith ends up analyzing his food, only now realizing that it’s not space goo, but it’s not anything he’s had before, either. It doesn’t really taste bad _or_ good.

He doesn’t stir when Coran enters the room with a bowl, but does when Lance hisses. Everyone’s eyes shoot to him, faces all lined with worry, but Lance misses them. He’s staring down at his finger.

When he looks up, he lifts his finger and says, “Hangnail,” as an explanation. Hunk huffs out a small bit of laughter, as if a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. Maybe there has.Allura and Coran don’t understand the meaning, but relax at seeing that he’s not in any real discomfort.

“Oh,” Allura pipes up suddenly. “Keith, will you be staying?”

Keith hadn’t even thought about it. He should return to the Blade of Marmora base.

“Yes,” he responds, despite his thoughts. “For now,” he adds.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lance makes a face. He decides against looking at him to get a clear view.

“Well, your room is as you left it. Might be some dust from when air filters have been off,” Allura teases, “but hopefully not much.” Somehow the first statement comes to him as a surprise.

“My things are still there?” he questions. “You didn’t get rid of them?”

Hunk turns to face him. “Buddy, it’s _your_ room. Why would we get rid of your stuff?”

Keith opens his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. He shrugs his shoulders and continues eating.

 

Lance leaves dinner early, after finishing half of his soup. Keith helps Hunk clear up the table as Allura and Coran leave to tend to the ship once again. Hunk mentions that some of the Olkari will be back the following day to help with more repairs, but they don’t speak again otherwise.

 

His room, as Allura said, is just as Keith left it months ago. On his bedside table is a red bandana, one that Hunk made for him when they first came to space. Keith didn’t wear it often, usually only when he would train alone in the night. He’d always been a night person, but he blames it on the insomnia rather than a preference for the time.

In the small closet remains his colored paladin wear, the kind that he’s only seen Lance, Hunk, and Pidge indulge in, and above it, next to some sheets and blankets, are his clothes. His boots are sat upright, their top halves floppy and folding over on themselves, and his jacket is still folded atop his t-shirt and pants. His belt pouches are to the side of those, something he vaguely remembers Lance calling fanny packs.

He pulls his jacket down, running his hands over the worn material. He thinks of wearing the clothes tomorrow, but quickly shuts the idea down. He has to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. He’ll put the Blade suit on again in the morning.

Upon looking over the rest of the room, he finds everything as he left it. The two shelves above the table are still empty. His bathroom toiletries are still where he left them, though he thinks he’ll have to replace some. The only thing he can’t account for are his gloves. His hands are thoroughly protected by his suit, so he doesn’t worry over them, but his curious mind does wonder. It wonders about a lot, having taken in so much new information today.

He worries about Pidge and Lance’s recovery. He worries about his own spot on Team Voltron. Are they hoping he’ll pilot Black again? Would Black even accept him after everything?  


He leaves his knife next to the bandana and removes the armor plates first. The Blade of Marmora suits are actually really cool in Keith’s opinion. They’re definitely a lot less difficult that the paladin armor. All suits are customized specifically to each member, and only the press of Keith’s hand to his chest plate will let the pieces disconnect.

Next is the thin metal band that rests at the bottom of his neck that forms the mask. Learning how that worked had been the only thing he’s ever seen make Kolivan laugh. It can only hold a certain amount of hair, which is why Kolivan wraps his braid around the band. 

The material is the easiest to remove. It reminds him of a wetsuit, but it’s something unlike anything he’s ever felt on Earth. It’s soft and flexible, but thick enough to protect him from scrapes and burns.

Underneath it all, the only thing he wears is thin, spandex-like shorts, as well as what Keith would equate to a compression shirt. He sleeps in that.

 

Or, he attempts to, anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to tie up a bit more of the intro and kind of let y'all know what the story will be really dealing with! Let me know what you think? [@macnstiles](http://www.twitter.com/macnstiles)
> 
> APR 16 UPDATE: I apologize as it’s literally been a month since I updated and I only never wanted to go more than two weeks without posting D; I am in track and captain of my team and have been very busy with that and school. I have literally all the details of the third chapter written out and hope to actually write it soon. Sorry again x
> 
> JUN 14 UPDATE: I am SO sorry for how long it's taking me to update. The next chapter can be expected within the next week or two. I am sick and writing when I feel best.


	3. Night Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you get reading, I just want to say sorry to the people who started this and didn’t get anything again for three months. On the previous chapter notes, I mentioned being in sports and captain. I was also really busy with school (college) so it HAD to take first priority. I ended up doing fairly well in my track events and moved from a conference level to a semifinals level. I didn’t go any further, but not long after, my uncle passed away. This left me in a rut for awhile. This part is originally the beginning of the third chapter, but I felt you guys deserved a little teaser because I've been so slow.

Lance tries to sleep, but his thoughts don’t allow it.

Part of him feels like none of this is actually happening, like it’s all a dream and all he needs is some kind of trigger to _wake him the hell up_. But the trigger hasn’t come, and in the darkness of his room, he realizes that it never will.

His earlier retelling of what happened had been vague, so he hopes that Keith has caught on to what he was implying. He almost wasn’t sure of it himself after the fight had gone down. But in the medbay, when Allura had been so unsure as to whether she should believe him or not, she’d reviewed the security footage. Whatever she saw was enough to confirm what Lance thought had happened. For a moment, he’d felt relieved that she knew now, and that he didn’t have to explain, but then it hit him.

This not-Shiro thing had _touched_ him. He could feel it on his hips when he first came out of his haze in the hangar. He could feel it in their position and the way that the creature had been looking at him. He could feel it on his split lip that carried a flavor he’d never tasted before. He could feel this _thing_ everywhere on him and in his head.

He didn’t realize he was crying until he saw Coran look from the video to him, his eyes a mix of fury and sympathy that made Lance feel like an object.

“My boy,” Coran had whispered on the last of his exhale.

 And Lance’s dam had broken.

Coran comforted him while Allura filled Matt and Hunk in on what was on the video, and he was thankful to see them both decline the offer to watch it. He felt violated enough, and he didn’t need everyone watching the attack because they didn’t believe him  


Through dinner that night, all he can think is that he needs to see that video for himself. His assumptions had been proven correct, but there are still things missing from his memory, and he has a creeping feeling that there’s more to what happened today.

Lance is trying to distract himself with his own hand when he pulls a little too much on a hangnail and hisses.

He barely registers his own response before he sees everyone relax slightly.

 

“Oh,” Allura pipes up suddenly. “Keith, will you be staying?”  
  
Lance hadn’t even thought about that. It never really occurred to him that Keith may be in the middle of something with the Blade and that he only left to come get the truth for himself.   
  
“Yes,” Keith responds. “For now.”

 

Lance is surprised, to say the least, and it must be evident on his face because Keith only glaces at him out of the corner of his eye before making a point of looking anywhere else.

Something has changed in Keith since he last saw him. Maybe the change had come before he left, but Lance had missed it in the anger that clouded his vision at the time. He supposes everyone has a little too much anger these days. Maybe if he didn’t, no one would be here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys aren’t too confused. Some of you didn’t catch on to what’s been implied that Kuron/Not-Shiro did to Lance, so I’ve referenced it a bit more specifically this time. Please leave any kudos or comments as you see fit and thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

Unfortunately the universe hates me and I can’t continue this story. After dealing with family drama that followed my uncles aforementioned death, I was already back to school and adulting before I had time to work on this. Then very soon into my college semester, my great aunt passed away. 

Good news is that I see a better approach to writing this as a 2-3 part story rather than a multi-chapter and hope to start working on that soon. The story will start essentially the same and I hope you will all return to read that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to reach me on my twitter [@macnstiles](http://www.twitter.com/macnstiles) or [tumblr](http://www.sakurakeith.tumblr.com)!!

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my friend and beta, Hannah! Check out her work at [cathect](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cathect/profile)
> 
> Feel free to reach me on my twitter! [@macnstiles](http://www.twitter.com/macnstiles)


End file.
